Nine years ago a very generous family member purchased a brand new van for my husband and me right off the lot. It had everything. Great stereo system, DVD player, electric windows, keyless entry. We thought we’d died and gone to heaven. It wasn’t long, however, that our dream vehicle turned out to be somewhat of a disappointment.

From the very beginning the paint started to peel in different places all over the van. Since there was a recall on that particular color of paint on that year’s model, it was covered. No big deal. I’ll admit it was a bit of an inconvenience having to take it in every few months to have another part of it repainted. At one point I even suggested that maybe they should just repaint the entire thing once and for all and be done with it. It would save me the trouble of coming in all the time and them the unpleasantness of seeing me.  That, of course, is not how they do things.

The real difficulty started once the recall was up. All of a sudden, they weren’t nearly as accommodating. In an effort to get them to take care of this issue I’ve sent 13 letters to all 13 members of this company’s Board of Directors with pictures. It cost me a small fortune. I’ve been on the phone with headquarters several times trying to get them to understand what it means to stand behind a product. I’ve searched high and low for paperwork they insist I have to have in order for them to even start to address the problem. Apparently they purge their files every 18 months if you haven’t been in to see them.

I asked if maybe my information was somewhere in cyberspace and that they would need to dig a little deeper. They assured me that, despite the fact that this is indeed the computer age, all of my information was on paper documents that would take days even weeks to locate.

I got of the phone and cried out of sheer frustration. There is nothing worse than feeling like you’ve been given the runaround, like the powers that be think you’re stupid and will buy just any story you’re given, like if they frustrate you enough you’ll just give in and trade up. They haven’t met me. This van has 140,000 miles. I plan on driving it at least to 200,000. That’s three more years for me, that is, unless the rust on the roof is not addressed in which case, I’ll be driving around town with a sunken roof and snow on my head in the middle of winter! I really can’t take it.

Up to this point when I’ve thought about engaging my culture my understanding of the concept has been limited to situations in which I am intentionally witnessing or trying to lead someone to Christ. I don’t think about the way I respond to the bank teller that tells me to have a nice day when she’s taken about ten minutes too long to process a check or the person at AT&T who just can’t figure out why I don’t have internet service and happily tells me they’ll send someone out in a few days to look at it, or the guy at the dealership that tells me there’s really nothing that he can do for me until I find the paperwork he needs.

There were so many things I wanted to say to the dealership like how it’s their job to fix their product, like this is the 21^st century, the age of computers, and how it’s not my fault if they can’t get it together, how they should be embarrassed to have their product driving around town looking as bad as it looks, how a $1,000 paint job is a drop in the bucket to a multi-billion dollar company, like how the customer is always right, etc.  Yes, I know. I had an adult-sized temper tantrum in my head until the Holy Spirit reminded me that engaging our culture is something we do every time we leave our house and enter society. If you’re alive and functioning you’re engaging whether you want to or not. How you do it is really dependent on how much you buy into the idea of the role of the Holy Spirit in your life.

So this week, we take the “G” in engage. Gift of the Holy Spirit.

In Acts 1 before Jesus ascended into heaven he was eating with His apostles and said this:

“Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised, which you have heard me speak about. For John baptized with water, but in a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you” (Acts 1:4,5,8, NIV).

Yes, the Holy Spirit is given to believers as a gift to help carry on the message of Jesus, but He’s the gift that keeps on giving.

He’s the Counselor, John 16:7

He’s the Spirit of truth, John 16:13.

He’s the Comforter John 14:26.

And the piece de resistance: He is the same power living in us that raised Christ from the dead, Romans 8:11.

During this whole process I’ve become acutely aware of my need for help from the Holy Spirit, not just in my feeble attempts at evangelizing the human race, but also in my day-to-day interaction with them. On my own I simply do not have what it takes to interact with the outside world in a manner pleasing to God. But I have this promise:

“His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness” (2 Peter 2:3, NIV).

 

Every year when my kids were in elementary school they participated in field day. It’s a morning spent participating with friends and classmates in everything from the long jump to the 50-yard dash to wheelbarrow races. Basically, it’s an excuse for kids to get out of the classroom in the early spring after being cooped up all winter and for parents to dream Olympic dreams for their kids.

Nick liked sports of all kinds and was pretty good at most everything he tried. At the time, he was an especially fast runner. That was all I needed to harbor the hope of him contending for a spot on the U.S. Olympic track team. As he lined up with six other five-year olds to run the 200-yard dash, my heart started racing, and I worried about the wet grass possibly tripping him up.

The whistle blew, and the boys were off. With wild abandon my fingers pounded the shutter release snapping pictures of my sweet little cherub-cheeked boy running for all he was worth past me toward the finish line. But then something happened. He fell. Stupid grass. Why did it have to rain the night before a big race?

That moment was like every moment in a sports movie where the crowd is still yelling, but it’s silent except for the heartbeat of the athlete as he stands at the pitcher’s mound plotting his last chance at greatness. Or when the underdog makes the last shot of the basketball game. The room is silent as the ball sails to the basket, the only sound being that of the ball hitting the backboard before swooshing into the basket scoring the team the winning 2 points.

Nick was only five, but he might as well have been rounding the last corner of an Olympic trial. He stopped and looked at me, and I could see the wheels spinning crazily in his little brain. Do I give in or get up? In middle school I was a cheerleader, and my cheerleading prowess kicked in full gear. I started jumping up and down like a crazy person, camera flying furiously around my neck as I yelled “Get up! Get up!”

That was all he needed. He pulled his wet grass-covered self up and not only finished the race but won it, which in my mind sealed the deal on heading to the Olympics. Only a true Olympian could fall on wet grass, get up and win. Plus, he was only five at the time!

We are in a series looking at engaging our culture with the gospel of Jesus. Last week we took the “E” and talked about embracing our identity in Christ, understanding that we can’t engage anyone for the cause of Christ if we haven’t even embraced who we are in Christ.

This week we take the “N.” No is always a choice. All of us at one time have had to overcome something so that we can be used by God. We’ve had to say “no” to something so that we could say “yes” to God. “No” always has such negative connotations. No, I will not buy you an iPhone. No, we aren’t eating out tonight. No, you cannot go see that movie. But “no” isn’t always negative. In order to say “yes” to God we have to make the choice to say “no” to whatever is holding us back whether it’s fear, feelings of inadequacy, Satan’s lies, whatever. The Bible is full of examples of people choosing to say “no” to one thing so they could say “yes” to God.

What would have happened if Joseph had said “no” to the angel who told him not to divorce Mary and “yes” to the culture which demanded it? What would have happened if Moses’ mother hadn’t quietly told Pharaoh “no” by hiding her child in the bulrushes rather than obeying and throwing him into the Nile? What would have happened if Esther had chosen to say “no” to Mordecai’s request to speak to the king on behalf of her people knowing that it could cost her her life? What if Paul had told God “no” on the road to Damascas? What if Peter had said, “No, I’m not really interested in being part of building your worldwide church?” What if Jesus had said “no” to God in the Garden because the sacrifice was too great?

There is an endless list of people in scripture who, had they not been willing to say “no” to cultural norms, physical limitations, personal fears and doubts, the spread of gospel would look significantly different.  If we are going to engage our culture in a way that is significant, it will require a radical decision.

My son’s decision to get up and keep running may not have been earth altering, but it’s a great example of saying “no” to a feeling of defeat and “yes” to getting up and continuing on.  He could’ve chosen to let the other guys win, running only to get to the finish line but not to win. The choice was his, and no one could make it for him.

In John 6 Jesus is teaching in the synagogue in Capernaum to a group of people who considered themselves His disciples, people who followed him around regularly listening to His teachings day in and day out. For some reason, His declaration as the  Bread of Life that came down from heaven was insulting to them. After much questioning and refusing to believe He was who He said He was, many of them walked away.

What came next I find striking:

“From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him. ‘You do not want to leave too, do you?’ Jesus asked the Twelve. Simon Peter answered him, ‘Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God’” (John 6:66-69, NIV).

There it is. Are you staying or going? In this particular exchange the line was drawn. The true colors of both sides came out. Those who really didn’t believe from the very beginning were finally honest enough to admit it and walk away. Those who chose to believe were solidified in their belief. They were all in. They chose “no” to the culture and their own feelings and “yes” to God. Whatever their choice had been, it was theirs to make. We have the same freedom-yes or no. It’s our choice.

 

 

 

 

“Paul, a servant of Christ Jesus called to be an apostle, set apart for the gospel” (Romans 1).

“Paul, called to be an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God” (I Corinthians 1).

“Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God” (II Corinthians 1).

“Paul, an apostle sent not from men nor by man, but by Jesus Christ and God the Father” (Gal. 1).

“Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God” (Eph.1).

“Paul and Timothy, servants of Christ Jesus” (Phil. 1).

“Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God” (Col. 1).

“Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the command of God our Savior and of Christ Jesus our hope” (I Tim. 1).

“Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, according to the promise of life that is in Christ Jesus” (II Tim. 1).

I used to gloss over these verses sometimes not even reading them because they seemed insignificant compared to the “good stuff,” the real meat of the text. But in my study of Acts over the last several weeks, God has shown me that embracing my identity is the difference between living haphazardly and living with purpose.

Last week I said it’s time for believers to get over their identity crisis. Deciding who we are is the first step. The second is embracing it, the “E” in ENGAGE. Embracing our identity requires willful submission to a cause greater than ourselves. It’s no coincidence that in Paul’s introductions in these N.T. books he identified who he was. His identity explained his actions. He not only identified with Christ, He embraced the cause of Christ taking whatever came with that cause. If he had written Acts 1, he could have opened with something like this: “Paul, an enemy of the gospel and persecutor of Christians.” That would have made complete sense and backed up his approval of the stoning of Steven and others like him.

But as a new creation in Christ, he identified with Christ, embraced that identity and lived it to the fullest. In Bonhoeffer’s book The Cost of Discipleship, he has this to say about being a disciple:

“’Whom He foreknew, he also foreordained to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren’ (Rom. 8:29). Here is a promise which passes all understanding. Those who follow Christ are destined to bear his image, and to be the brethren of the first-born Son of God. Their goal is to become “as Christ.” Christ’s followers always have his image before their eyes, and in its light all other images are screened from their sight. It penetrates into the depths of their being, fills them, and makes them more and more like their Master. The image of Jesus Christ impresses itself in daily communion on the image of the disciple. No follower of Jesus can contemplate his image in a spirit of cold detachment. That image has the power to transform our lives, and if we surrender ourselves utterly to him, we cannot help bearing his image ourselves. We become the sons of God, we stand side by side with Christ, our unseen Brother, bearing like him the image of God” (page 298).

So what does embracing who we are in Christ look like in the day-to-day? I think it requires two things: first, perspective. Unless we’ve bought in to the idea of the cross and what Jesus did on it for us, we will never effectively be able to convince others of their need for it. The best way to keep our perspective is to constantly stand in the shadow of the cross remembering that every person we meet is loved because of it, and every situation in life is redeemable by it.

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2, NIV).

Second, I have found that embracing who I am in Christ usually requires a stepping out of my comfort zone.

One morning a couple of weeks ago my family and I awoke to a scene outside our windows that looked very much like a scene from CSI. In the night there was a shooting six doors down resulting in what was eventually called a triple homicide as one of the victims was pregnant.

My initial reaction was to call my realtor and throw a sign in the front yard, pull the shades and ignore all of it. But I couldn’t, and I knew it. Instead, my husband and I went outside and started praying with people from our street and others who had gathered. In the days that followed, I began the process of starting a neighborhood watch. Not because I’m all that and a bag of chips and not because I  believe that the big blue sign with the eyeball on it will deter criminals. What I do believe is that God has handed me a perfect situation to engage my little corner of the world with the message of the cross through something like a neighborhood watch, something already in place where all of the work has been done for me!

In walking up and down the street getting signatures, I have just now met some of my neighbors who are only 7 houses away from me, but they might as well be on Mars. Some of these people have been my neighbors for five years! I’m ashamed that it has taken tragedy to get me to engage.

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Eph. 2:10, NIV).

So what would your life look like if you embraced who you are in Christ?  What is the calling He has placed on your life? Have you asked Him? What would you do differently if you embraced this calling? What would you let go of?

Every year movie buffs from around the world wait in anticipation to see who will win the industry’s biggest prize, the much-coveted Oscar. But for lovers of fashion, the pre-awards show is just as big a deal. You know, the one that famously asks, who are you wearing? The pre-show, the walking of the red carpet, is as much a big deal as the award itself. For a couple of hours the stars are interviewed, talking about their movie, their clothes and the amount of time it took them to get ready. Essentially, mankind sits in front of the big black box in the living room and watches the televised walking of a bunch of people on a brightly colored piece of carpet. Their smiles are as big as their hair. They gush about what an honor it is to be nominated. And the rest of the world lives vicariously through them for a few hours thinking they’ve got the world by a string. Do you know what I’m reminded of? Church.

Until the last couple years, I had a pretty rocky relationship with church. In fact, I could spend this whole time talking about my frustration at how the American church looks nothing like the church in Acts 2. I could wax poetic about why the church has often failed to raise up a new generation of believers that is so in love with Jesus that the things of this world seem like a waste of time. I could talk about my many self-induced sabbaticals I have taken over the years from church and why. I could lament over the years I spent in a church that greeted me every Sunday morning with nothing but rules and rituals making God look like an angry tyrant. Or I could simply go on and on about how we, I, have turned church into nothing more than a red-carpet event, a place to look good to everyone around me.

I am not under any delusions that the church in Acts was perfect. It wasn’t. But the one thing they had going on that is sorely missing in the 21^st century was a rock solid identity. They never grappled with their purpose or role. Nowhere in Scripture was the question ever raised, “will I be able to stand?” After all, some of them had actually seen Jesus and walked with Him. Their faith was set, their destiny determined, their lives spoken for. What about us in the 21^st century? Though Jesus hasn’t walked the planet for 2000 years, the Holy Spirit’s existence lives as loudly here and now as His physical counterpart did all those years ago. What we so often fail to realize is that we are on display everyday living a running commentary on what we believe about God to the rest of the world.

There’s a flurry of frustration right now as people are learning the lengths to which our government will go to to spy on us. I’ll admit as a political conservative, this is annoying to say the least. I’m an American citizen, and privacy is supposed to be one of my rights. I wonder, though, if I spent as much time worrying about the fact that the rest of the world is watching me in light of who I say I am if I would live a little differently, with more intention.

Hebrews 12:1,2 says:

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before Him, endured the cross, scorning its shame and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

The only way to truly start living a life that makes a difference is to throw off that which hinders the call of God on our lives. Last week I spoke about my struggle with debt. One of the reasons I wanted out so badly was because somewhere deep inside I knew there had to be more purpose to my existence, but I couldn’t grab hold of all that God had for me while still enslaved to sin. The throne of our hearts has room for only one God. To attempt to house both God and sin is equivalent to nothing more than looking good on the outside while dying on the inside. Eventually we fall apart, and everyone around us discovers what a fraud we are. What’s worse is the shadow it casts on the name of Jesus.

One of the worst things we can do as Christians is to disengage from society and set up our own subculture. We see it all the time. We create the Christianized version of the world’s systems in an attempt to form a sort of utopia so as to get through life unscathed by this world. There is nothing wrong with Christian schools, Christian music, Christian books, Christian coffeehouses. The problem comes in when that’s the only place we can be found. The non-believer does not live in these places.

When Jesus called us to be in the world but not of it, I don’t believe for a minute that this is what He meant. Yeah, we get the part about not being of it. But how do we live in this world successfully in a way that is pleasing to God and that will draw others to Him?

When I read through the life of Jesus one thing He did not do was disengage from the culture. He did not go off and hide from the world b/c it was just too unpleasant. With the exception of the time He took with just His disciples for the purpose of intense training as well as the times He spent alone in prayer, He was in the world engaging in conversation, debating, living out truth, teaching, meeting needs, preaching the gospel. Based on Christ’s examples and the example of the apostles, I will share with you over the next few weeks what God is teaching me about living intentionally in modern-day America. Each week I will take a different letter from the word ENGAGE (since acrostics are the best way for me to remember what’s worth remembering!) because I believe this is the mandate. It’s time for the Body of Christ to get over its identity crisis once and for all. We have to decide who we are and what we’re about and then live it with everything we’ve got.

“Through him we received both the generous gift of this life and the urgent task of passing it on to others who receive it by entering into obedient trust in Jesus. You are who you are through this gift and call of Jesus Christ!” (Romans 1:5,6, The Message, italics mine).

 

“If you want to maintain your freedom, do your own homework.” One of my favorite political radio hosts said those words this morning, and I haven’t been able to get them out of my head.

A couple of days ago I had the absolute privilege of standing in front of a group of gorgeous God-fearing women and telling them what God has done in my life. As I thought back over some of the key events in my life in preparation for what I wanted to say, a theme started materializing. It began with my salvation experience which was presented as mere “fire insurance.” In my young mind I perceived undertones of obligation by God to make good on John 3:16 rather than His actual love for me which compelled Him to offer such grace. I lived believing that though salvation was mine for the taking I would still spend my life  paying for what He’d done for me.

As a teenager I went on a missions trip to France. Though I genuinely wanted to share God’s love with others, in the back of my mind I was hoping it would endear me to Him somehow. After all, I was spending an entire summer sleeping in a tent and wearing jeans and combat boots, a far cry from my usual attire of bows, dresses and cute flat shoes! Instead, the team disunity, physical hardship, issues with leaders and extreme homesickness left me disillusioned with Christianity and the idea of serving Him.

Most of my college years were spent at Moody Bible Institute where I was fortunate to immerse myself in Bible classes and writing. However, with the stress of extenuating circumstances, I began down a dark hole of binging and purging in order to diffuse the frustration. I was convinced His disappointment in me was teetering on the brink of no return.

As an adult, I felt called to marry a youth pastor which I did. My husband is the greatest thing since sliced bread, but youth ministry was his gig, not mine. Realizing that left me feeling like a complete failure, again. What a disappointment I must have been to the God of creation. He’d given me a chance to redeem myself, to finally get it together and be a serious Christian, and I was blowing it. Another black check on the tally sheet.

As a young writer, I had a few successes with the publication of the articles and a children’s book, but it didn’t last. Now I was becoming angry with God. What did He want from me? Why did He continually dangle the carrot in front of me only to snatch it away once I got within reach?

Then my husband and I bought into the idea of the American dream, which you are all too aware of if you’ve read any of this blog. I wrote the following poem one morning to the Lord having no idea the flurry of activity it would release from Him.

I know what I’m asking.

It scares me to death,

But scarier still

Is a life that is left

Complacent, unchanged

Lukewarm at best,

Loving God one day,

Not caring the next.

So take me and mold me

As a potter with clay,

Shaping me, forming me

In Your unique way.

The pain and the time

It takes to change me

Remade in Your image

A sweet offering

I pray will bring

Nothing but glory to You

Redemption in action

Your work showing through.

Then a daughter of Jesus

I’ll stand on display

As proof of the Potter’s

Love for the clay.

Within weeks I found myself on my knees in my dining room begging God for help with my debt. At the time I didn’t realize that not only would He begin the process of unhinging us from our debt, but He would also start the longer, more involved process of releasing me from the captivity of what I believed about Him. Essentially, I had spent my whole life in judgment of God, and my sources for that judgment would never hold up in a real court of law.

I could blame the church that offered salvation as nothing more than a means to avoid hell. I could blame the Pharisaical Christians who had walked in and out of my life over the years. I could blame the American culture and it’s marketing of the American dream to any who will listen. But the blame was mine. I hadn’t done my own homework. I had no hard evidence to back up the verdict of who I thought God was. Quite the contrary, as a matter of fact. In looking over my life He has more than rescued me from situations that I have chosen, and yet I dismissed all of it as if it were merely hearsay.

Which brings me back to the quote at the beginning. If we want to maintain our spiritual freedom, that is to live without the noose of Satan’s lies tied around our necks, it is our responsibility to get to know the Person we claim to live for.

History has shown over and over how the ability of a charismatic speaker and a few well-placed lies can lead an entire culture of people into political and spiritual ruin. Here’s the bottom line in a nutshell:

1). God is under no obligation to prove anything to any of us, and yet the first breath of every new day is just the beginning of Him spending that entire day proving Himself to us.

2). I had to ask myself if I had spent most of my life basing my judgment of God on the actions and words of others as well as my own unreliable feelings, what judgments are other people making of Him based on what they see in me?

3). John 14:6, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” (NIV).

John 8:31,32, “To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, ‘If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free'” (NIV).

“If you want to maintain your freedom, do your own homework.” One of my favorite political radio hosts said those words this morning, and I haven’t been able to get them out of my head.

A couple of days ago I had the absolute privilege of standing in front of a group of gorgeous God-fearing women and telling them what God has done in my life. As I thought back over some of the key events in my life in preparation for what I wanted to say, a theme started materializing. It began with my salvation experience which was presented as mere “fire insurance.” In my young mind I perceived undertones of obligation by God to make good on John 3:16 rather than His actual love for me which compelled Him to offer such grace. I lived believing that though salvation was mine for the taking I would still spend my life  paying for what He’d done for me.

As a teenager I went on a missions trip to France. Though I genuinely wanted to share God’s love with others, in the back of my mind I was hoping it would endear me to Him somehow. After all, I was spending an entire summer sleeping in a tent and wearing jeans and combat boots, a far cry from my usual attire of bows, dresses and cute flat shoes! Instead, the team disunity, physical hardship, issues with leaders and extreme homesickness left me disillusioned with Christianity and the idea of serving Him.

Most of my college years were spent at Moody Bible Institute where I was fortunate to immerse myself in Bible classes and writing. However, with the stress of extenuating circumstances, I began down a dark hole of binging and purging in order to diffuse the frustration. I was convinced His disappointment in me was teetering on the brink of no return.

As an adult, I felt called to marry a youth pastor which I did. My husband is the greatest thing since sliced bread, but youth ministry was his gig, not mine. Realizing that left me feeling like a complete failure, again. What a disappointment I must have been to the God of creation. He’d given me a chance to redeem myself, to finally get it together and be a serious Christian, and I was blowing it. Another black check on the tally sheet.

As a young writer, I had a few successes with the publication of the articles and a children’s book, but it didn’t last. Now I was becoming angry with God. What did He want from me? Why did He continually dangle the carrot in front of me only to snatch it away once I got within reach?

Then my husband and I bought into the idea of the American dream, which you are all too aware of if you’ve read any of this blog. I wrote the following poem one morning to the Lord having no idea the flurry of activity it would release from Him.

I know what I’m asking.

It scares me to death,

But scarier still

Is a life that is left

Complacent, unchanged

Lukewarm at best,

Loving God one day,

Not caring the next.

So take me and mold me

As a potter with clay,

Shaping me, forming me

In Your unique way.

The pain and the time

It takes to change me

Remade in Your image

A sweet offering

I pray will bring

Nothing but glory to You

Redemption in action

Your work showing through.

Then a daughter of Jesus

I’ll stand on display

As proof of the Potter’s

Love for the clay.

Within weeks I found myself on my knees in my dining room begging God for help with my debt. At the time I didn’t realize that not only would He begin the process of unhinging us from our debt, but He would also start the longer, more involved process of releasing me from the captivity of what I believed about Him. Essentially, I had spent my whole life in judgment of God, and my sources for that judgment would never hold up in a real court of law.

I could blame the church that offered salvation as nothing more than a means to avoid hell. I could blame the Pharisaical Christians who had walked in and out of my life over the years. I could blame the American culture and it’s marketing of the American dream to any who will listen. But the blame was mine. I hadn’t done my own homework. I had no hard evidence to back up the verdict of who I thought God was. Quite the contrary, as a matter of fact. In looking over my life He has more than rescued me from situations that I have chosen, and yet I dismissed all of it as if it were merely hearsay.

Which brings me back to the quote at the beginning. If we want to maintain our spiritual freedom, that is to live without the noose of Satan’s lies tied around our necks, it is our responsibility to get to know the Person we claim to live for.

History has shown over and over how the ability of a charismatic speaker and a few well-placed lies can lead an entire culture of people into political and spiritual ruin. Here’s the bottom line in a nutshell:

1). God is under no obligation to prove anything to any of us, and yet the first breath of every new day is just the beginning of Him spending that entire day proving Himself to us.

  2). I had to ask myself if I had spent most of my life basing my judgment of God on the actions and words of others as well as my own unreliable feelings, what judgments are other people making of Him based on what they see in me?

3). John 14:6, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” (NIV).

      John 8:31,32, “To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, ‘If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free'” (NIV).

“If you want to maintain your freedom, do your own homework.” One of my favorite political radio hosts said those words this morning, and I haven’t been able to get them out of my head.

A couple of days ago I had the absolute privilege of standing in front of a group of gorgeous God-fearing women and telling them what God has done in my life. As I thought back over some of the key events in my life in preparation for what I wanted to say, a theme started materializing. It began with my salvation experience which was presented as mere “fire insurance.” In my young mind I perceived undertones of obligation by God to make good on John 3:16 rather than His actual love for me which compelled Him to offer such grace. I lived believing that though salvation was mine for the taking I would still spend my life  paying for what He’d done for me.

As a teenager I went on a missions trip to France. Though I genuinely wanted to share God’s love with others, in the back of my mind I was hoping it would endear me to Him somehow. After all, I was spending an entire summer sleeping in a tent and wearing jeans and combat boots, a far cry from my usual attire of bows, dresses and cute flat shoes! Instead, the team disunity, physical hardship, issues with leaders and extreme homesickness left me disillusioned with Christianity and the idea of serving Him.

Most of my college years were spent at Moody Bible Institute where I was fortunate to immerse myself in Bible classes and writing. However, with the stress of extenuating circumstances, I began down a dark hole of binging and purging in order to diffuse the frustration. I was convinced His disappointment in me was teetering on the brink of no return.

As an adult, I felt called to marry a youth pastor which I did. My husband is the greatest thing since sliced bread, but youth ministry was his gig, not mine. Realizing that left me feeling like a complete failure, again. What a disappointment I must have been to the God of creation. He’d given me a chance to redeem myself, to finally get it together and be a serious Christian, and I was blowing it. Another black check on the tally sheet.

As a young writer, I had a few successes with the publication of the articles and a children’s book, but it didn’t last. Now I was becoming angry with God. What did He want from me? Why did He continually dangle the carrot in front of me only to snatch it away once I got within reach?

Then my husband and I bought into the idea of the American dream, which you are all too aware of if you’ve read any of this blog. I wrote the following poem one morning to the Lord having no idea the flurry of activity it would release from Him.

I know what I’m asking.

It scares me to death,

But scarier still

Is a life that is left

Complacent, unchanged

Lukewarm at best,

Loving God one day,

Not caring the next.

So take me and mold me

As a potter with clay,

Shaping me, forming me

In Your unique way.

The pain and the time

It takes to change me

Remade in Your image

A sweet offering

I pray will bring

Nothing but glory to You

Redemption in action

Your work showing through.

Then a daughter of Jesus

I’ll stand on display

As proof of the Potter’s

Love for the clay.

Within weeks I found myself on my knees in my dining room begging God for help with my debt. At the time I didn’t realize that not only would He begin the process of unhinging us from our debt, but He would also start the longer, more involved process of releasing me from the captivity of what I believed about Him. Essentially, I had spent my whole life in judgment of God, and my sources for that judgment would never hold up in a real court of law.

I could blame the church that offered salvation as nothing more than a means to avoid hell. I could blame the Pharisaical Christians who had walked in and out of my life over the years. I could blame the American culture and it’s marketing of the American dream to any who will listen. But the blame was mine. I hadn’t done my own homework. I had no hard evidence to back up the verdict of who I thought God was. Quite the contrary, as a matter of fact. In looking over my life He has more than rescued me from situations that I have chosen, and yet I dismissed all of it as if it were merely hearsay.

Which brings me back to the quote at the beginning. If we want to maintain our spiritual freedom, that is to live without the noose of Satan’s lies tied around our necks, it is our responsibility to get to know the Person we claim to live for.

History has shown over and over how the ability of a charismatic speaker and a few well-placed lies can lead an entire culture of people into political and spiritual ruin. Here’s the bottom line in a nutshell:

1). God is under no obligation to prove anything to any of us, and yet the first breath of every new day is just the beginning of Him spending that entire day proving Himself to us.

2). I had to ask myself if I had spent most of my life basing my judgment of God on the actions and words of others as well as my own unreliable feelings, what judgments are other people making of Him based on what they see in me?

3). John 14:6, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” (NIV).

     John 8:31,32, “To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, ‘If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free'” (NIV).

I chuckled when I walked into church a couple of weeks ago and read that our pastor was starting a new series entitled, “Going Deeper.” If I didn’t know better I’d think he’d been listening in on my conversations with God from the past week. It seems that when God is trying to drive home a point, He tends to cover all of His bases.

Though my prayer recently had been asking God to give me all of Him that I could handle, I have to admit I expected more mountaintop living and less of the battle between my flesh and the Spirit of God. To get more of God we must let go of more of ourselves. Why is that always so hard?

Without going through the laundry list of sins that I constantly battle, suffice it to say that as soon as I pray something as seemingly noble as asking for more of God, it’s almost as if He’s asking me if I really mean it. Without missing a beat the fear, pride and selfishness that characterizes me jumps front and center threatening to squelch the fire that has just begun to flicker.

Going deeper with God looks different for everyone. We are all in a different place spiritually, and our struggles are unique to each of us. For me, going deeper means obeying with no guaranteed results of the desired outcome. I’ve mentioned this before. It’s still a problem!

Driving is my least favorite activity. I cannot wait until my 15-year old gets her license. My plan is to hand her the keys and hop in the passenger seat indefinitely.

Not only do I hate driving, I especially hate it when the weather is not optimum, like in fog, for instance. Pursuing obedience is like driving in the fog. I will never forget as a young college student driving alone to see some friends in Nebraska from my home in Iowa. Not a long drive by any means, but it might as well have been from New York to California. The fog was mud soup, and the only thing I had going for me was the taillights of the driver in front of me. If he changed lanes so did I whether I needed to be in that lane or not.  I stuck so close to that driver that in today’s world riding on someone’s tail like that would be considered road rage.

Besides the fog I was also dealing with the handicap of having absolutely no sense of direction. I know one way to get everywhere I need to go, and if the road is blocked off or the weather blocks my vision, I’m in real trouble.

You get where I’m going with this. Sometimes deepening our faith simply means getting out of the boat. Other times, the process becomes nothing short of a tsunami, blowing in out of nowhere, taking our breath away and forcing us to hang on without knowing what comes next. In either case, it’s only about us to the degree that we’re willing to obey. The rest is about God.

That is where my husband and I find ourselves right now as God has seen fit to bring a couple into our lives that He is asking us to walk alongside. We are completely in over our heads not to mention there is no guarantee that the time we put into them will guarantee the outcome we are hoping for which is restoration. But if our desire is deeper faith and obedient living then we simply follow closely to God’s leading and let Him worry about the rest.

Hillsong United has a great song out right now called Oceans (Where Feet May Fail). My favorite lines go like this:

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior

Isn’t that the point of the Christian life? To allow God to blow the borders off of our tiny faith and bring us to the end of ourselves so that, once again, all there is is Him?

I listen to enough radio and watch enough news to be able to quote the commercials for companies offering to sell gold. You hear it all the time in today’s economy: the dollar is losing value, it’s not going to be the currency our kids will use. The answer? Invest in gold. Gold is the standard by which the dollar used to be based on, the one currency that has historically retained its value or grown in value. It does make sense, and I’ve often wondered if we should look into something like that. At times, I become so overwhelmed by the news of naysayers that I start to panic and feel compelled to take every last dime I have and trade it all in for the shiny gold blocks of security being offered. But then I remember why I’m taking up space on the planet.

One of the perks of my job as a house cleaner is the people that I meet. Most of them become very much a part of my life. One client in particular I’ve known for years through church. I started cleaning for Cindy about two years ago after her cancer had weakened her to the point that she needed help; not something she was necessarily familiar with. Over the weekend, she lost her battle with cancer.

At one particular appointment last year she thought her prognosis was improving. She was feeling better except for the constant pain in her back which she attributed to the pain of nerve endings growing back after being annihilated by the chemo. Instead, she was told that her cancer had returned wrapping it’s menacing fingers around her spine and taking up residence in her bones. It would seem to me that a diagnosis of these proportions would devastate even the most faithful. We are human after all, and the will to live is a natural part of our makeup. However, though stunned and saddened, my friend reminded me that her life is in God’s hands.

What kind of person says this when they’ve been given a less-than-positive diagnosis? What kind of person can fall asleep at night not knowing if tomorrow will be waiting and sleep in peace? What kind of person, while their human body is dying, knows a peace that grows ever bigger with each passing day?

The only type of person capable of this response is the one who has invested everything in gold and not the kind sold in heavy blocks that support an economy. By that I mean, the kind of person who has lead a steady existence of keeping priorities in check and God at the front. The kind of person who has spent her life in a relationship with God experiencing who He is so when the rainy day hits, there is no question in her mind if God is good and if He really does hold her life in His hands.

She has spent her life collecting verses to quote in the midst of her darkness. She has invested in her kids in such a way that in her time of desperate need, they have reworked their schedules to accommodate her doctor’s visits. She has invested in friendships that have had a huge return in the form of helping her get dressed and making her lunch. God and people. Those were her nuggets gold.

I find the following quote interesting when put in a spiritual context:

“Historically, gold has been a proven method of preserving value when a national currency was losing value. If your investments are valued in a depreciating currency, allocating a portion to gold assets is similar to a financial insurance policy…” (EagleWing Research 2012, italics mine).

Oh the parallels we can draw! Let’s reword it like this:

“Historically, a relationship with God has been a proven method of preserving value when the world’s system is valueless. If your investments are valued in a depreciating currency (ie. the things of this world), allocating to God all of your assets is similar to an assurance of peace…”

Matthew 6:19-21 says this:

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (NIV).

I can’t pretend to know the thoughts that swirled around my client’s head as she lay in her hospital bed at home. What I can tell you is that every other Wednesday for the last two years was, for me, rich. Besides cleaning, we spent time exchanging news about life, encouraging one another and crying together over disappointments. I will miss her so much, but I will see her again someday.

Her faith in Jesus was her legacy, and her devotion to Him was her investment. What will yours be?

If someone were to ask you to describe God in one word, which of the thousands of adjectives would you use to do so? When I think of God, like many people, words like holy, righteous, omnipresent, loving and just, come to mind.

What about sweet? I can’t say that I’ve ever thought of God as sweet, not because He isn’t, but because I feel like the adjectives He deserves are more along the lines of those already mentioned. But to know Him personally, is to know His sweetness.

The other day while having lunch with a very dear friend the conversation drifted to what I was wearing. This particular day I decked myself out in bling. It was everywhere; on my shirt, all over my shoes and around my neck. My friend complimented me on the way I looked and on what I was wearing. In that moment I realized how far God had brought me.

After my husband and I got out of debt I went through a period of time where I decided that I was not going to care about my clothes or my makeup and just live simply. Besides, too much emphasis is put on the trivial, and I was guilty for sure.

I remember a conversation with God in which I questioned Him about why He just didn’t send me to some remote African village where the only item of clothing I would need was a piece of fabric to cover what needed to be covered. At least then I wouldn’t have to worry about any of this anymore. It would be so easy!

His response shocked me. “No! You will live in this culture and among these people and learn to do it well. I made you this way, to love beautiful things. You are the one who has made this personality trait ugly.”  He was so loud I almost looked around to see if anyone else heard Him!

It’s true. Like everything God creates, we get our hands on it and warp it with our selfishness and the insane habit we possess of putting that thing at center stage of our lives, even down to something as shallow as shopping!

Shopping is not a necessity of life. Wearing beautiful things does not make or break my existence, but it’s something I enjoy. I love finding the bargain. I love sifting through the stacks of ick and finding that one gem that I believe will transform my entire wardrobe! More amazingly is the fact that I worship a God who created me this way and rewards me with the gift of participating in this one activity every once in awhile.

Matthew 7:11 says,

“If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him” (NIV).

In response to my friend’s compliment the other day, I just responded with, “It’s the sweetness of God.” What else can I say?

In a way God has given me back me, only a much better version of myself. Sometimes the self-imposed limits we put on ourselves is the leading of the Holy Spirit to get us to a place of right relationship with that thing. But that doesn’t mean it will always be that way.

The opportunity to shop and enjoy it is something that I never expected to have again. Make no mistake, if God asked for it back in exchange for a simpler life somewhere more remote, be sure I would jump at the chance. But right now He’s put all of us in the exact place and time He wants us. The challenge is to do it well, and He is showing me that a life lived well is a life that is lived in collaboration with the Holy Spirit.

What are some examples of the sweetness of God in your own life? It can be as silly as shopping or as mundane as housework. Make no mistake: God is intimately involved in absolutely every area of our lives. Thank goodness.