I woke up the other morning in a terrible mood. I was mad at God. It started with my husband telling me my son’s basketball pictures were after school that day and that we would need money for them. Next came my daughter telling me she was out of shampoo. I was already frustrated that my gas tank was on empty, the dishwashing soap was almost gone and the cupboards needed restocking.
On the way to my cleaning job that day I cried and quoted “My God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus” back at Him. I reminded Him that He owned the cattle on a thousand hills so why wasn’t He sharing the wealth? I realize that my handling of money has been less than stellar in the past, but needs are needs and I had some. And why was His idea of provision so much different from mine?
You’re probably thinking I deserved to get hit by lightening for my attitude toward God, but I have learned that He wants honesty from us, not disrespect but honest questions. He can’t do anything with us or what bothers us if we bottle it up inside and try to work it out on our own. Trust me. I’ve tried this, and it just makes me more tired than I already am!
The other thing I have learned is that God is patient with the stupid (that would be me). After throwing my temper tantrum at Him in the car, He quietly and patiently went through my inventory of things I thought He hadn’t provided and gave me some perspective.
1). My son is on four different sports teams throughout the year (this is where a lot of my money goes!). I no longer feel the need to buy basketball pictures for the entire extended family. One picture on my desk of his handsome face in his uniform is fine.
2). Yes, my daughter needed shampoo, but there were other bottles of the stuff in the house that work just fine that she could use until I got to the store.
3). The gas tank. This is the thorn in my side that God will probably make me live with forever unless He decides to move me to a city with a great public transportation system or plenty of bike lanes. Somehow the gas lasts until I can get the money to get more just like it did that day. I cleaned a house, cashed a check and filled the tank.
4). It’s true I have a dishwasher for a reason. My hands look ten years older than the rest of me because of the years they’ve spent in the water, but they still work. I can hand wash dirty dishes until I get what I need. I don’t want to, but it can be done. Better yet, why can’t those kids of mine do it?
5). The cupboards were looking a little sparse, but there was definitely food in them just not what I, or my kids, wanted to eat. But then God reminded me that someone in my own city would go without dinner later that night and would give anything to have my “empty” cupboards.
God does supply our needs. He has to. He promised He would and it’s not in His nature to not fulfill a promise or not to provide for us. But sometimes what He provides is something we need more, and that’s perspective. A very valuable commodity in the culture we live in.